CALLIGRAPHY

I just finished Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. Yea, I still don't know why the caged bird sings. Maybe I'll find out why the second, or third, time I read it. In my experience, third time's always the charm. Oh well...

I was wondering what to read next. I got on Google for a totally unrelated reason only to see this interesting looking doodle. Of course I click on it, because I am wired like that (oh, yes! The cat is my spirit animal). Apparently, it would have been Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye's 94th birthday. Just like that,I decide I'm reading Coming to Birth next. FAM!!!!!! How appropriate bro! 

Okay,I'll explain.

I've been on a journey. A healing journey. I didn't even make a conscious decision to start healing...but over the course of this year, I have been nudged, severally, to change something. To change lots of things. Spaces had started to get a tad bit uncomfortable.  I've been nudged ever so gently into this space where, at the risk of sounding cliche, I am finding me. Having spent so much time alone in my room, I've learnt quite a bit about myself. I have re-remembered the things I like. Like cooking, reading...and just today, calligraphy.

As I bang this, I'm listening to Self Care by Savannah Cristina. I found this album at the most appropriate time. A time where I am all about self care. A time where I am, quite literally, finding a way. And this time, hata kama ni ngumu aje, I will find a way. This is it. This is how I do it. With this fear. With my trembling hands, my tight chest and my short breath.  I'm doing it right this time. I am coming to birth. I am facing myself in the mirror. With no fear. I am coming to birth. Nani ule alisema ati there are two times a man is born? *quick google search* Turns out it was William Barclay. I never could have guessed that. Would have bet it was Socrates or something.

So anyway, I open the book and right there in bold typeset ,the first word is Martin. Tell me why. Tell me whyyyyyy?!!! Okay, spirit guides, I hear you. I see you! Please give me courage to get this wheel rolling. I know that it is time to honor myself and my boundaries. To let go of this guy who doesn't even like me, and heal this part of me which resonates with emotionally unavailable men.

It's taken a while to get here. Even as I recognize that I may not be as courageous tomorrow, I know that I am learning to choose me. And as long as I let the wheels keep rotating, I know I'll be okay.

That should be enough. That is enough. I am enough.

Here Goes Nothing...!

I started this blog because it was mandatory for a class project . I love writing, I love words. I love reading much more than I love writing though. Since I had to do it for a class project, it slowly became a burden so of course when the semester ended, so did my writing. That was about 7 years ago.

I am a student again but this time I don't HAVE to do a writing project. I'm back here to sort of get all my thoughts which I can't voice out loud, on a "surface". My bro, Eki, calls it 'documented expressions'.

My writing has become a tad too rusty, as you can imagine. Please bear with me. Lakini I don't think anyone will be reading anything from here and that kinda,sorta takes the pressure off.

Oh, I'm glad to say I passed the unit for which this writing project was required. I passed the course as well.🙂